Self-compassion often fails after complex trauma, not because it is wrong, but because survival comes first. Attunement is the verb that builds safety before kindness is possible.

But the issue with the Whac-A-Mole game isn’t the moles; it’s the machine in the box under the moles. It turns a crank that pushes the moles out of the holes. You can whack them down as much as you ...